That boy from yesterday just dropped this off for you Olive Penderghast Olive: Why? They're Costco. : I don't know when it will happen. Marianne From the movies incredibly sharp script, here are 35 of the best one-liners and exchanges from Easy A. : Fine. : Get it? Olive: I dont think letting Peter Hedlin motorboat you behind a Bed, Bath, and Beyond really makes you a super slut. Well, I mean, like, do you wanna be my girlfriend? Rosemary: Not to mention how have you been dressing this past few day. Olive Penderghast But we're a family of late bloomers. I mean, you're a nice guy and all, but you're not really my type. He got a Coke Zero AGAIN. Oh. 'Easy A' (Rosemary): "Your father and I are totally supportive" A one minute comedic monologue for women from the movie, EASY A, starring Emma Stone and Patricia Clarkson as Rosemary. [Mocks interest] I kind of hate me, too. [looks him in the eyes] Here you go. Woodchuck Todd Mr. Griffith (Thomas Haden Church): I dont know what your generations fascination is with documenting your every thought, but I can assure you, theyre not all diamonds. Olive Penderghast : [runs into Anson, outside] : Perhaps you should embroider a red A on your wardrobe, you abominable tramp. : : I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Ar-ra-ra! Now, bitch. : Just once I want my life to be like an 80s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. : I hope for your sake, God has a sense of humor. I liked Todd much better when he was topless. I'll have to get a lower back tattoo and pierce something not on my face.". Hello? : Brandon : It's not a good thing. Brandon, just a couple hours ago, you told me you were Kinsey 6 gay. Rhiannon Why now? What is the streaming release date of Easy A (2010) in France? Olive Penderghast I had a horrible reputation. : (now with a Southern accent) He said something about asking for your hand in marriage! Woodchuck Todd Marianne Yeah, you're not really my type, either. Marianne: Jesus tells us to love everyone, even the whores and the homosexuals. Are you really that repulsed by lady parts? Olive Penderghast Guys, we were going to do this at the right time. No, no! The books you read in class always seem to have a strong connection with whatever angsty adolescent drama is being recounted. It was like setting up Jenga. Author of the memoir The Young People Who Traverse Dimensions While Wearing Sunglasses. Olive: Youre not really heading the right direction. Sanjay Chandrasekhar : Brandon (Dan Byrd): Do you want to go out with me? Before I met Dad, I had incredibly low self-worth and I spread my legs for anyone. Olive Penderghast : bit of an understatement, guvnor! Do you know how embarrassing it is; finding out you slept with some gay dude from *Jackie Rudedsky*? [with phony innocence] : : Oh, haven't you heard? Do you wanna have sex with me or not? : Dill Olive: Thats the one thing that trumps religion: capitalism. Olive Penderghast Olive: The rumors are true. Brandon Marianne Bryant is the secretary of the student council, chairman of the Orange Blossom Dance Committee, and president of the Cross Your Heart Club - a club dedicated to shoving their beliefs down people's throats. Mr. Griffith: Im hearing things. Look it up, big boy. Unavailable on an ad-supported plan due to licensing restrictions. The woodchucks! Olive:I want a one hundred dollar gift card deposited into my locker by noon tomorrow. Not in high school. Brandon Theres a young man here to see you. : I would slit my throat rather than say something to someone that you didn't want me to say! Blue Devils! Olive Penderghast Whether I liked it or not, I had *a lot* of customers. Olive Penderghast Brandon Waiting for me outside the bedroom door for me to kiss Todd. I haven't overanalyzed it, like you're about to. Woodchuck Todd Woodchuck Todd Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. [about Olive's pretend tryst with Brandon] All I could think was, "Great, now I'm a tramp! [looks up and sees a guy dressed in a Quizno's costume]. : Rhi! Olive Penderghast : Olive Penderghast And that's why I decided to do this webcast. Woodchuck Todd : Hey Olive! Easy A (stylized as easy A) is a 2010 American teen romantic comedy film directed by Will Gluck, written by Bert V. Royal, starring Emma Stone, Stanley Tucci, Patricia Clarkson, Thomas Haden Church, Dan Byrd, Amanda Bynes in her final film role, Penn Badgley, Cam Gigandet, Lisa Kudrow, Aly Michalka, and Malcolm McDowell.The screenplay was partially inspired by the 1850 novel The Scarlet Letter . You liar! Right above the Orient. : I'm only going on what I've seen in the movies. Dill : Olive Penderghast Thank you, Mom. : Don't tell anyone I'm doing this - please [opens a drawer and takes out a handful of condoms, then hands them to Olive]. Rhiannon : Rhiannon Like "by George, that tree has reached the final stage of ecological succession". Judging from the amount of blood I saw gushing from your nose I thought you were the bull-*ied*. That's the beauty of being a girl in high-school: people hear you had sex once and BAM - you're a bimbo. Seems as if someone's practicing the mundane activity she'll be saddled with the rest of her pathetic life. : Olive Penderghast : 1. There is. : Why? A harlot. : Easy A. Well, actually I told one person, but you know how these things work. : : : You don't have to be so aggressive about it. Press Esc to cancel. [in Woodchuck costume carrying head] : [welcoming Brandon into her upstairs bedroom] : : We've had 9 classes together since kindergarten 10 if you count Religion of Other Cultures, which you didn't, because you called it science-fiction and refused to go. : Olive Penderghast Brandon: You said I should pretend to be straight. So the rumors are true. : : ** I hold no rights this video is strictly for entertaining purposes.This is my take on Emma Stone's audition for "Easy A" Let me know what you think and if . Olive, Olive, Olive. Olive Penderghast : And it only took 20 seconds. What's the rumor mill churning out these days? : Aren't you supposed to be eternally in love with him and shit? : Rhiannon Rhi, I'm not that kind of girl. Rosemary I could be wrong, but aren't you supposed to say something or ask me questions? : Mostly guys. Press Esc to cancel. Oh my God, did you hear that Brandon ran away from home? : : ROSEMARY: I had a similar situation when I was your age. Just the rumor mill. Can you do it in front of everyone? I might even lose my virginity to him. : Oh, the Christian church recognizes the existence of Hell. Oh, it's nothing. Olive Penderghast I was just wondering if there's a minster around? [believes he's talking about sex] Olive Penderghast I hope you don't mind, but we had a few pre-cocktail party cocktails like before the cocktail party with cocktails. : Rhiannon Everything according to plan. The Will Gluck-directed teen sex comedy was Stone's first leading role before she became one of the most . Oh, happy day, Mama! Dill: Oh, clever wordplay. : The principal is like a captain of a ship in international waters. : : Rhiannon [spiteful] Olive Penderghast I meant about Gibbons' being a fascist. : Brandon He seems like a nice kid. Olive Penderghast Easy A: Directed by Will Gluck. Woodchuck Todd (Penn Badgley): (with his Woodchuck mascot head off) Hey Olive. : Perhaps you should GET a wardrobe, you abominable twat. Olive Penderghast Olive Penderghast Olive Penderghast Olive Penderghast The rumors of my promiscuity have been greatly exaggerated. : Olive Penderghast No. Rosemary: Olive! It was just that a lot of people had been asking me to do things and I thought it was okay, because it wasn't real. Olive Penderghast I believe so, if I was the Gossip Girl in Sweet Valley of the Traveling Pants. Chip (Olives Younger Brother): Why does that matter? It is updated for this generation of teens - replete with FaceBook, texting and webcam. | (then) Well, about the sister thing, not about the Don thing. [whispers to Olive] While on Jimmy Kimmel Live! | : : : Phil Lord gave me 100 bucks from Best Buy so he could tell people we hooked up behind the library. Rosemary : Unmatched by anything you have heretofore experienced including cake. Ooh, I think my complete lack of allure already kinda shot that horse in the face. Olive Penderghast Actually, make it Office Max - I have my eye on a label maker. And then he skipped town with a big, hulking black guy! And as we all know, by magic I mean nothing.. His, with a capital H. If the Good Lord had wanted Micah to graduate, he would have given him the right answers. : Evan : Olive Penderghast I was looking forward to putting all this behind me - I had done the crime, I was going to do the time. With an incontrovertible sense of humor. : : Olive, do what you got to do, let your freak flag fly. : Rhiannon : What? Olive: You know, you call me bitch a lot okay. Thank you. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life. You left your glass slipper at the party the other night. And that would be that. : : : With Emma Stone, Penn Badgley, Amanda Bynes, Dan Byrd. You're wonderful. : Olive Penderghast : Course you will. Never underestimate the power of extremists like Marianne. He left his parents a note that said: Fuck you, I'm gay. Olive Penderghast : Dyed in the wool homosexual, that boy is. Any I left out? : Olive Penderghast No, honey. Interview: Casting Directors Brett Benner and Debby Romano Talk Shrinking, Finding Actors and More, Interview: Jeremy Davis on Playing Olaf in Frozen, Costume Mishaps and Making the Role His Own, Interview: Casting Director Kim Coleman on Five Days at Memorial, Self-Tape Tips and Portraying Real People, MasterCard Presents: Broadway Beat's Priceless Moments #12 Megan Mullally, Easy A (Rosemary): Your father and I are totally supportive, Easy A (Mr. Griffith): Im hearing things, Olive. : last week to promote Cruella, Stone delivered Steve Martin's entire "rental car scene" monologue from Planes, Trains and Automobiles without any preparation. There's a young man here to see you. You're going to hell! [while pretending to have sex with Olive and she's hitting him with a book] Not now I don't, shit-dick. Olive: Mom! : : I want every detail now, shit-face. : And there's a reason for that. [confused] It was just like Hester in The Scarlet Letter. Martin himself seemed impressed, although he may have been a little shocked . : : No, you're not, Olive. : : Olive Penderghast Only by marriage.
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